I swear parenting puts me in a time warp
Summer {vacation} is over, a new school year has begun, and September lurks just around the corner. September which is basically October which is basically Thanksgiving which is basically Winter Break, which is... well, Happy New Year!
Is it just me or does parenting throw you into some sort of crazy fast time warp?
As you take those first day of school pictures, do you find yourself remembering, like it was literally yesterday, that fresh, fuzzy-headed babe nuzzling right into the crook of your arm as he slept? That tiny babe you nuzzled back so full of love you thought your heart might burst? And then do you feel just a little bit punched in the gut wondering just “where all the time has gone” between that tiny fresh newborn and this big kid confidently strapping on a backpack and stepping onto the bus completely by himself like he has done this approximately one million times before?And then as you catch your breath, do you find that a tiny part of you rejoices because your better rested self does not miss the sleepless nights of early motherhood when you were convinced that small babe would never actually sleep on his own {and thank goodness he does now}? And perhaps your heart leaps with joy at the sight of your child giggling amidst a group of neighborhood friends at the bus stop, knowing that he’ll never feel alone throughout the day {and at least one of your fears, for the time being, is relieved}. And in that moment you know in your heart that you are firmly in another phase of parenthood, a phase with its own set of wonder and curiosity and challenges and deeper love than you could have ever imagined.
I have no idea what phase of parenthood you are in right now, Momma.
You may very well still be in the fresh, soft, fuzzy-headed phase, wondering just how long your arms can keep holding your sweet sleeping babe before losing feeling. You may be opening up those arms to release that toddler babe into the colorful new world of pre-school, holding back tears so he doesn’t completely fall apart, too. You may be standing at the bus stop praying that you’ve imparted on him the heart and wisdom to be kind and respectful and make good choices. You may be watching that tiny little babe drive a packed to the brim car off to college, wondering how in the world he {you?} will survive that far away from home.Whatever the phase, this is a reminder to do all that you can to live in this moment that is before you, knowing that all too well, that sneaky thing called time will inevitably have its way and move forward. Before you know it, you will be wondering just when that movement happened. For those of us still raising up the little ones, it can indeed be HARD to remain in the moment, to be fully present, because a million little things occupy our minds.
I saw this post recently on the Humans of New York Facebook page, and it was a bit of a sucker punch for me:
“As a working parent, I’m always tired. I don’t have time to think. I speed walk wherever I go. When I finally get home in the evening, I just want to lie in bed and watch TV. But it’s summer now. So the kids always want to do something. It’s so tempting to tell them ‘later,’ or ‘next week.’ But I force myself to do it. I get out of the apartment and go to the park. Or the museum. Or the beach. Because no matter how I feel, I know there’s such little, little time. It seems like just the other day I was pregnant. I was so excited and nervous. Now next week my oldest son is turning ten. I look back and say: ‘Oh my God.’ It all passed in the blink of an eye. Working, working, working. Never enough hours in the day. Just trying to survive. But I was a good mother. I’m proud of that. I always made time and space. Even if I was exhausted. Because I knew the time I was exhausted was the only time I had.”Sometimes I feel like I am just speedwalking through life - trying to get to everything, to respond to every one, not pausing enough to just sit and just be. And then, on a Sunday evening when I am feeling absolutely spent, longing to curl up on my patio with a book while my kiddos watch a movie, my oldest asks me if I want to play a game. And a part of me cringes, wanting so badly to zone out after chores and pool time and bubbles and sidewalk chalk. After laundry sorting and dinner making and errand running. When bedtime just seems too far off to wait to steal just a little time away for myself.
WE LOVE CITYMOM MORGAN'S VOICE. DID YOU ALSO CATCH: Letting go - why I let my kids roam {safely, ok?}
And the other part of me, still cringing just a bit, sits down and plays...two games in fact. And my heart is lifted in those moments; and I end the games knowing that I have poured into my son, given him my attention, and paused. And even though I was exhausted and ready to just be done parenting for the day...I not only added to his bucket but I added to my own, and another set of memories was created. Memories that can comfort me as one phase of parenthood ends and another begins.
So here is my invitation to you, dear Momma. Be reminded this back to school season that each new season marks a new phase for you and your children. Take this moment to remark on the phase ending and wonder about the phase you are entering. Spend time thinking, with intention, about how you might specially mark this phase you are in; create a “bucket list” of sorts or start a new tradition or routine with your children. Think about these {or other} life hacks that can free up your mental and emotional space for being present.
The parenting time warp is real--but only if you succumb to it. Use this new school year ahead to step outside the warp, to stop speedwalking through life, and to {unapologetically} pause through this next phase of parenthood so you may relish its presence just a little bit longer.
